a ninja's diary

We were minding our own business when suddenly

FLYING DILDOS

wait how did this happen is this merch where is the merch how much is that - 

Oh. FLASHLIGHT DILDOS.

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Rik: Why are we here this early?

Mike: I thought you want to meet her?

R: Isn't that the point of concert?

M: No, I meant, meet MEET her?

R: OOOOH! There's meet and greet? You bought tix? OMG YOU RICH BASTARD ILU.

M: Uh, no.

R: Oh damn. Uh, you knew where she checked in?

M: No.

Jay: He meant backstage.

R: ....

J, M: .....?

R: ....

R: WAIT HOLD IT MY MIND CANNOT PROCESS THIS ALL AT ONCE. WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED BEFORE HAND. MY HEART. MY HEART.

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POKER FACE

 R, M, J: OMG MEAT DRESS!!!!!

R, M, J: FINALLY!!!!

R, M, J: Ugh when did we last eat?

R, M, J: *subdued dancing due to thoughts of hunger and sausages*

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R: LOOK AT THE STAGE. HOW DID SHE DO THAT.

R: LOOK AT HER CLOTHES

R: HER CLOTHES!

R: I WANT THOSE SHOES.

R: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HOLY SHIT

R: OMG IT'S THAT DANCER

R: WORK THOSE HIPS BABY

R: GOD THAT GIRL CAN DANCE

J: Gaga? (backstory: we all agree years ago that her backup dancers dance better than her)

R: NO THE DANCER

J: Oooh yea, that dude?

R: DID I STUTTER WHEN I SAID GIRL

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TELEPHONE

(at Beyonce's recorded parts)

M: (diehard B fan) AAAAAAAAAAAH BEYONCEEEEEEEEE *unmanly squeals*

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FUCKING FREE, MANILA

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"I'm certainly not a creature of your government"

J: I'll be your creature anytime, my queen

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J: Hey, you just met us and this is crazy-

Stefani: If you finish that line I'll kick you

R: I love you.

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JUDAS

R: SHE'S SINGING JUDAS SHE'S SINGING JUDAS OMGOMGOMGOGMOMG

R: <gratitious sing-along>

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HIGHWAY UNICORN

UNICORNS FOSHO.

BEST INTERPRETATION IS THE LITERAL INTERPRETATION.

COME FRIENDS, GATHER YOUR UNICORNS AND LET US RIDE FORTH TO MACAPAGAL HIGHWAY

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J: Oh hey so Ian Summerholder is here in the arena too. Twitter said so.

M: Ian who?

J: Summersomething.

R: It's Somerhalder AND YOU HEATHEN WHY ARE YOU ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW

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HAIR

R: YESSSSSS HAIR!!!!!

M, J: NO DON-!!!

R: *unties hair* *whips back and forth*

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PAPPARAZI 

J: *hums intro for Love Game*

R: Wrong song, brah

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LOVE GAME

Hey so you know her 'HUH!'s in that song? The whole arena grunts with her. 

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EDGE OF GLORY

I REMEMBER LITTLE DETAILS ABOUT THIS EXCEPT THAT WE ENDED UP CRYING AND HUGGING EACH OTHER AND DANCING AND JUMPING AND STEPPING ON EACH OTHER'S FOOT SO MAYBE THAT'S PARTIALLY WHY WE'RE CRYING BUT IT WAS CATHARTIC AND WHY THIS SONG TURNED OUT TO BE EMOTIONAL WHEN SHE SANG IT IDGI

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BAD ROMANCE 

M: Oh hey that's the choreo from that Avengers fanart gif you showed us!

R: OH MY GOD MIKE SHUT UP

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(during any and all of her spiels and sermons)

R: *whines grumbles yawns whines*

J: You know, considering how crazy you are for Adam and he's one talkative preachy ALL IS LOVE fellow, it's weird you barely tolerate gaga's.

R: I do what I want.

M: Yeah, like. Didn't Adam find his boyfriend in a bar?

R: Oh my god shut up.

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R: IT'S SO GLORIOUS. THE WHOLE STAGE IS GLORIOUS. I CAN LIVE THERE AND ANALYZE EACH WIRE AND CROOK.

R: HOW IS THIS POSSIBE. HOW MANY PEOPLE WORKED FOR THIS.

J: Wow who are her sponsors again?

R: Not Cook, definitely. He's not with RCA anymore.

M:....Ano connect?

R: ...HOLY SHIT LOOK AT HOW HIGH THOSE HEELS ARE

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*M just snapped a pic of the stage using Instagram*

J: DID YOU JUST USE INSTAGRAM? YOU'RE A PRO-PHOTOGRAPHER AND YOU USED INSTAGRAM?

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R: HOW CAN SHE EVEN BREATHE

R: WHO PROVIDES WATER FOR HER

R: SHE TALKS SO MUCH. THAT'S LIKE, HER ONLY BREAK. 

R: DO HER CLOTHES COME WITH BUILT IN WATER BOTTLES WITH TINY STRAWS

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ALEJANDRO

Everyone: I know that we are young and I know that you may love me but I just can't be with you like this anymore...

NO SERIOUSLY HOW AWESOME IS IT THAT PEOPLE RECITED THAT LINE WITH HER

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FASHION OF HIS LOVE

M: Eeeeerrr. She sounds off

<awkward pause>

J: Still can dance though

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I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH ANYTHING ELSE

EXCEPT THAT MY EYES ARE PRETTY.

AND SHE OWNS THE STAGE

HER VOICE NOT MUCH SOMETIMES.

BUT STAGE.

HER CLOTHES.

HOW MANY TIMES SHE'S COMPELLING US TO DANCE

AJDLSALDJSKAJDLSAJDASD

My mouth is officially stitch-free and my tongue can finally rest from its gut-punch reaction to explore lick at every new shiny thing it feels. 

And.

And.

Guys.

LADY GAGA TOMORROW.

I get to meet my queen!

And I still don't know what to wear D:

You don't give a two-piece shit about my happiness, or my welfare, or my sanity. You only care that I am constantly there at your beck and call. Ready to serve, everything else be damned.

It hurts, how you so recklessly play with my heart through your words, and your playtoys. It hurts and every passing day I fear the moment I'll run out of blood to give. Because that day will mean you won't find any use of me.

That is worse.

I can't escape you. 

I don't want to.

My heart pangs at every passing second without me acknowledged. It screams in agony for every second that you do. 

I'm stuck in this path of self-destruction.

I fear you have every intention of making me last for as long as possible in this miserable excuse of a life.

And you have me trapped in your web of lies.

My tags explain my feelings quite well about this post.

I live and breathe and breathe poison. There is nothing, I am invulnerable, fragile. Who is it that you seek? What are you hiding from? Whence are the voices? You are wisdom personified, corrupt tainted. No one gets in, no one gets out. Die. Live. Breathe. Sing my song, forget your life. It was a lie. Are you my king or my queen or will you be my executor? The prophets were misled.

I am Immortal.

So this is a snippet of our latest photography project, Skin Deep, where we write fucked up shit on our skin and pose pretty emo for the camera.

Haha okay not really.

There's a deeper goal we're trying to accomplish here which might be evident (or not) once we're done and I pose some of mine here.

Prose above is going to end up on my skin.

I'll be doing ten more, I think. Not sure.

"I wish I could get my eyes back. I miss seeing things my way."

"Hahaha. I don't think I'm cut out for avian vision for the rest of my life. Even though you guys are way advantageous in that department."

"Put a permanent cast huh? I suppose that's probable. Levoure could do it."

"Of course, you wouldn't mind. That's your duty. You're not supposed to mind. I bet you wouldn't do this for me if you actually have a choice."

"I wonder how many people in this castle and in my clan at the moment feels the same."

.

.

.

"Fuck I'm sorry, I'm not normally this depressing of a company."

COLOR ME EXCITE

I actually have plans on cosplaying or something but shit I wanna test out my new lens and I can't do both. Or maybe I should cosplay a photographer.

Wait that sounds stupid.

I wanna cosplay Aradia! Does she even know how to handle a DSLR?

I wanna GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

(source)

What makes you think I kill?

Why would I prematurely stop my pleasure with just a simple slip of the knife? Why would I deprive myself of my fun?

 A corpse is no playtoy, nor do I harbor that particular kink. It is a mere shell, unresponsive and unmoving. My own toys would be of no use. A dead man has no substantial hold to my senses.

Nay, I would rather have you alive.

Struggling.

Screaming.

I'd rather feel your warm skin, your precious blood. I'd rather bask in the scent of your fear, so primal, so palpable that we can barely both breathe in my room.

Or maybe because I have strapped you down a wee bit too tight.

Your eyes. Ah, it's my favorite thing at the moment. Sparkling blue, so full of hate and terror and pain. I find it delightful watching your reaction whenever I bring out something from my box. Or whenever my hands get too close to your throat, or your heart.

Honestly, you think too low of me. You really think I'd kill you, my beloved?

I am wounded.

And toss me the gun while you're at it, please?

Someday, I will sit down, grab a pen and paper, and write. And it'll be special because I am happy, because my smile fueled my words. Someday my heart will be at the point of bursting unless I stop right that instant, and try to capture my emotions with an ink. Someday, I will be writing stories because I am happy, and not vice versa.

Someday, I'll learn the difference between the two.

But for now, I guess these somber emotions would have to make do.

We'll reach an intersection. I'll kick a stone out of the way. Behind us empty plains.

Where have our tracks gone?

You would take the right, I'd take the middle fork. Because that's what direction we always choose.

I would get lost. You wouldn't. I can't read a map to save my life. I just follow yours.

But now I can't.

The world is round, and we'll end up finding one another again. Or maybe you'll find me first.

Or rather, what's left of me.